There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
