YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
