i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize