like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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