kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
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before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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