It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize