im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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