There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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