I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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