Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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