sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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