apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize