How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
