Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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