? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
