I want to make a zoo with you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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