Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
