She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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