Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
