Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize
