drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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