ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
