did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize