Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
