Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
