you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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