I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
