is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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