are you so shy because you have an std?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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