I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
