remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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