i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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