I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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