so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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