remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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