Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is Oprah even human
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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