a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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