just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
