I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
