Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
