do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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