Dual....:-)
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
