I feel like abortions should bother me more
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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