flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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