Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
