its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
