i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
