I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
