Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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