She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
