i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So much rum. So many feels.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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