I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
