Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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