Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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