The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
