You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
