I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
