If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
