Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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