They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
